Wealth Wisdom System

I’m reading The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money by Ted Klontz, PhD, Rick Kahler, CFP, and Brad Klontz, PsyD.

I want to share one more exercise with you that may prove invaluable in helping you discover (or confirm) what it is that you really want out of life.

1. Pretend you have a fairy godmother who can give you all the money, time, and talent that you want. What have you always dreamed of doing or becoming — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Write down whatever comes to mind. Dream big, be outrageous; reality is not important in this exercise. You have complete freedom. What you put down can be complete fantasy and can have nothing to do with the reality of your current situation. The more daring, the better.
   The list may include items like building a new home on the beach, swimming with the stingrays, writing a best-selling books, going to the moon, becoming a world-class skater, directing a movie, singing with Garth Brooks, becoming President of the United States, living in Europe, or raising award-winning roses.
2. Life aspirations can be described as broad, important dreams that you hope to achieve over your lifetime. Most of us have several of them. Look at each item in the preceding step and ask yourself, “Why do I want to do this? What desire will it satisfy?” When you figure out the underlying reason for each item on your list, write that underlying reason down on a separate piece of paper that we’ll call your life aspirations worksheet. Start each one with the words, “to be…” For example, if you want to take your kids to Sea World, this may satisfy your desire to be a good parent, so you would write, “to be a good parent.” You may want to travel to remote places or to the moon, so you might write down “to be an adventurer.”
3. After a long and full life, you have passed away. Your funeral or memorial service is today. Imagine all your family members, friends, and coworkers at that memorial service. Each of them has prepared an acknowledged of you, describing all you did or became in your life. They are about to read what they have written. You will be taking notes on what they say.
   One by one, the most important people in your life take the podium and speak about you. What do you hope each would say about you and your life, what you did, and what you became? Be specific and write several paragraphs that summarize what you would want them to say.
4. Boil down what the people at your gathering said about you to brief phrases describing your characteristics. Again, on your life aspirations worksheet, write these phrases beginning with “to be…” For example, if someone said, “She was always so supportive of her coworkers,” you might write, “to be a mentor.” Some of these phrases may already exist from the previous step, so you don’t need to write them down again.
5. Now go to your life aspirations worksheet and look at all your “to be” statement. Which ones really reflect your intentions in life? Leave every statement that is true, whether you feel you have accomplished it or not. Cross out any that don’t resonate with you. Add any additional ones that come to mind. You should now have a complete list of your life aspirations. You may feel free to modify this list as often as you need. In fact, we recommend that you do this exercise annually. Although it may change over time, this list will ebcome the foundation or the touchstone of every goal you set to achieve.

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I’m reading The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money by Ted Klontz, PhD, Rick Kahler, CFP, and Brad Klontz, PsyD.

The authors discuss how most of our money problems actually have nothing to do with money at all.

I wanted to share this exercise I found in the book. Take a moment to go through this exercise and reflect on your own life.

Brainstorm a list of all the things that you would regret or feel badly about not having done if your life were to end tomorrow. Include everything you can see yourself regretting, including any unfinished business in your most important relationships, things you wish you had said to loved ones, things you feel about your loved ones that you hope they know, places you wish you had visited, adventures you wish you had undertaken, things you wish you had learned, etc.

From this simple, yet often profound list, you may get some very significant clues as to what things are important for you to accomplish to live your life with greater passion, meaning, and integrity — as Scrooge did!

I told you yesterday that I just started reading a book called The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money by Ted Klontz, PhD, Rick Kahler, CFP, and Brad Klontz, PsyD.

Today I want to share with you a little more about “money scripts.” The authors define money scripts as “beliefs that are often only partial truths about money.”

They have an exercise to help you see what you believe about money. I encourage you to try this exercise and see what it reveals about you.

You’ll need a pen and paper for this exercise. Write a statement describing what you think or believe about money in conjunction with each word or phrase listed below. Don’t try to analyze your responses; just list them as quickly as possible. For example, a belief you might have about money might be: “The rich…think differently than me.” You might have several thoughts about money and “the rich,” “the poor,” “politicians,” etc. We encourage you to write down as many thoughts as you can for each of the following words or phrases:

Here’s how I would complete this exercise:

Tell me, what do these words mean to you?

I just started reading a book called The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge: 5 Principles to Transform Your Relationship with Money by Ted Klontz, PhD, Rick Kahler, CFP, and Brad Klontz, PsyD.

In it, they talk about the “money scripts” — the rules that you learnt as a child about money. People continue to live by these rules, even if they no longer make sense, and even if they cause you to make disastrous financial decisions. But what’s really sneaky about these money scripts is that they feel right. And, just as a stopped clock is right twice a day, your money script is sometimes right…which of course leads you to believe that it is always right.

I wanted to share with you some characteristics of a Scrooge personality and a Cratchit personality. I was amazed when I read this, because I remember Bob Cratchit being “the good guy.” Now I know better. His habits and his choices were just as destructive to him (and his family), as Scrooge’s were to him.

There are millions of modern-day examples of people who, like Scrooge and Cratchit, are imprisoned by self-defeating behaviors. We don’t have to look very far pr hard tos see them. Few have the skills to actually alter their basic money behaviors, even when they know that their money habits are limiting or even harming their lives. Signs of this suffering are everywhere.

The Scrooges of our modern-day world, in spite of their wealth, also find ways to unconsciously sabotage their lives. We see them often in our work:

• Workaholics who become estranged from their families or divorce because of their beliefs about what money is and.or what money can and cannot provide.
• People who continue, year after year, to work at jobs they hate, with the hope that the money they earn or accumulate will eventually bring them fulfillment or meaning.
• Recipients of financial windfalls who discover that wealth brings new problems, rather than the peace and comfort they anticipated.
• Those who are so afraid of losing money that they can’t stop for a single moment to enjoy life.
• Wealthy individuals who are guilt ridden about their money.

The Cratchits of the world, broadly defined as those who choose to be underachievers, cannot live within their means and/or are failing to prepare for their future. We recognize them because they are:

• Drowning in credit card debt, which is currently at record highs
• Experiencing the shame of bankruptcy, which exceeds 1.5 million new filings each year – one every fifteen seconds.
• Finding it impossible to save money
• Facing retirement with insufficient finds
• Spending their discretionary income on luxuries rather than necessities
• Threatening their primary relationships with constant disagreements over money
• Allowing their fear of financial loss to keep them from making investments. Instead, they put their money in savings accounts, low-interest CDs or even shoeboxes around the house. Consequently, inflation and taxation will doom them to the very future they’re striving so fearfully to avoid.

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Kaua’i psychologist Brad Klontz has a full schedule these days, thanks in part to Wall Street’s meltdown last year and the angst that followed.

Over the next several weeks he’s scheduled to have his newest book reviewed by USA Today and be interviewed by a host of publications, ranging from Parade to Family Circle.

There’s a reality television show offer to contemplate, the blog he writes for Psychology Today and his gig as a spokesman for H&R Block’s Dollars and Sense Program.

“I’m on a plane a lot,” said Klontz, a Lihu’e resident who has become well-known in the emerging field of financial psychology. As such, he helps people understand deep-seated reasons for money disorders and how to overcome them. “I probably would have lived in obscurity if it wasn’t for the economic collapse,” Klontz said.

That’s a bit of an overstatement, since Klontz and his father, Ted, have worked for years counseling people with financial issues and have authored three books on the subject in the process.

But last year’s cratering of financial markets, along with turbulence in the economy and rise in foreclosures, have resulted in a media whirlwind for Klontz.

He had just published a study on the treatment of money disorders in Psychological Services, a journal published by the American Psychological Association, before markets tanked in 2008.

That netted him prominent mention in a New York Times feature story. The article appeared 10 days after the historic collapse of Lehman Brothers and plunge of markets as people tried to sort out what was happening with their investments and savings.

“That really led to a whole storm of things happening for me,” said Klontz, who was approached by Random House with a book project shortly afterward.

The result is Mind Over Money: Overcoming The Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health, a 320-page work that explores how people’s experiences shape their attitudes and approaches to money management. The $25 hardcover will go on sale on Tuesday and will be accompanied by a book tour that starts in New York.

As in past books, Klontz and his father argue that managing money is pretty simple — don’t spend more than you make, and you have to save for the future.

But many people have a difficult time sticking to those dictums.

“We already know what we should be doing, and why aren’t we doing it?,” said Klontz, who has championed psychologists exploring the financial stresses and money relationships their clients face. In doing so he was given an Innovative Practice Award by the American Psychological Association.

Klontz and his father previously authored works exploring this subject that included a Christmas allegory about Ebenezer Scrooge and money, another about unleashing wealth potential and a book for financial planners, coaches and therapists on facilitating financial health.

The current work differs from prior books in that it digs into the origins of money disorders, Klontz said.

“In this one we really dove into our histories — how our past historical experiences around money really predict our current financial situation,” he said.

The book includes examples of people’s money behaviors. The root of one man’s inability to build savings, negotiate salary increases or manage investments is traced to an early incident in which he saw destructive behaviors in the pursuit of money.

In that case, the man had developed beliefs that working hard and family time were more important than money.

After exploring the past and present issues, Klontz’s client was able to achieve a middle ground when it came to having and managing money.

Not everyone agrees with Klontz’s work.

A customer review of the Klontz’s The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge takes them to task for purveying pop psychology. It said the book is a thinly disguised sales pitch for consulting services that feature the Klontzes and South Dakota financial consultant Rick Kahler.

“And it’s an insult to Charles Dickens,” said the review posted online. “We were probably meant to take away some lessons about money from the original tale, so ‘A Christmas Carol’ is worth another read. This book however is rubbish.”

But the majority of readers gave more glowing reviews of the book.

Klontz said he doesn’t own a financial interest in the Kahler consulting services and only gets paid a salary for the six-day seminars it has periodically. One such session was the subject of an ABC “20/20″ segment last summer.

As for pop psychology?

“I hope it becomes pop psychology,” Klontz said. “I mean, ‘pop’ means popular.”

He said that’s part of his overall agenda, which includes bringing more psychological focus into the role of money. He also wants to give financial planners more insight into why some clients don’t follow financial road maps that are drawn up for them.

The books also allow him to reach people in an affordable way so they can understand on their own what money disorders they may be facing.

Klontz also works with the state Department of Education on educating high school students on financial issues.

“We’re definitely not selling a get-rich-quick scheme,” said Klontz, noting that some people looking for a panacea to current financial problems won’t find it in the book. But he said it could be helpful as they navigate their way back from money problems.

“You can go one of two ways on that. You can blame the entire system or everyone else and likely continue making the same mistakes.

“Or, two, you can say, ‘OK, what role did I play in this.’ ”

Copyright (c) 2009, The Honolulu Advertiser
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